How to find a networking group that's about relationships, not selling

Find a group where the members can’t sell to each other. That means business-to-business focused, one seat per industry, no MLMs, and a visit before you join. Then sit in on one meeting and watch: do people introduce each other to their clients’ other vendors, or pitch the room? The answer tells you everything.

Most people never check for any of that. They join the closest group, show up with business cards, and wonder why nothing happens. I did the same thing for years.

Why do most networking groups turn into people selling to each other?

Because most groups are built for people who sell to consumers, and consumers are exactly who is sitting in the room. I said it years ago and I still believe it: “Most networking is focused on business to consumer. That’s one of the reasons it doesn’t work. Groups tend to only sell each other.”

Look at who shows up. Real estate agents, financial advisors, MLMers. All great people. But when everyone in the room can buy from everyone else, the meeting turns into a sales floor. Every handshake is a pitch.

A lot of the networking advice out there was written by those same transactional folks. It works fine when you sell a house or a policy. Try it in a business-to-business world and it backfires fast.

That’s not networking, that’s begging for leads.

What I learned selling commercial printing

Early in my career I sold commercial printing. If a company didn’t order between a quarter of a million and a million dollars of printing a year, it wasn’t even worth a conversation.

I went to chambers. I went to local networking groups. I’d say I did printing and someone would ask, “Can you do my business cards?” That’s a $50 job. It wasn’t a realistic conversation for either of us.

I wasn’t going to cold call and I wasn’t going to knock on doors. So networking had to work, just at a different level than anyone was teaching.

The shift came from my largest client at the time, Mary Kay Corporate in Dallas. It was a $2 million account. I asked the main print buyer what else he bought for the company. He rattled off a list, and promotional products came up. T-shirts, stress balls, all of it. Back in the early 2000s, Mary Kay bought $9 million a year in promotional products.

So I asked him to introduce me to his favorite promotional products rep. He asked why he would do that. I told him we were both selling at that level into Mary Kay, so maybe we could figure out how to partner up and go after other business together.

That is the whole idea. Your ideal clients aren’t at networking events. But the people who already sell to them are. A relationship-first group is one built around finding those people.

What should a relationship-first networking group look like?

Here’s the checklist I’d use before giving any group your time or money.

1. Business-to-business members. If the people in the room sell to other businesses, they are potential partners instead of potential buyers. That changes every conversation.
2. One seat per industry. Two accountants in one room will fight over the same introductions. A group that holds one business per category takes that competition off the table. I explain why that rule is about coverage in the post on one seat per category.
3. No MLMs. Recruiting is selling. A room with a recruiting pitch in it is a room where somebody is always working you. Here is why we never let MLMs in.
4. A visit before you join. A group that wants your card on file before you’ve seen a meeting is selling you a membership. A group that wants you to sit in first is checking fit.
5. Both sides decide. Good groups vet you as hard as you vet them. If anyone who pays gets in, expect the room to fill with people who joined to sell.

How can you tell in one visit whether a group is transactional?

Watch what people ask for. If members stand up and ask for clients, the group is transactional. If they ask to meet the vendors, partners and advisors who already serve their clients, the group is about relationships.

A few more things to look for on that first visit:

• Do people talk about introductions or only referrals? A group that only counts closed deals tends to push for the sale. A group that values introductions, which we define as “connecting two people who would benefit from knowing each other,” is playing a longer game.
• Does anyone pitch you in the breakout? If you get a sales pitch before anyone asks who you serve, you have your answer.
• Do members give before they ask? Networking is a value-first game. Listen for people offering doors, not just asking for them.
• Can members clearly say who they serve? Vague people make vague introductions. Clear people make useful ones.

If you’re not sure who you should be meeting in the first place, start with how to pick referral partners. It makes every visit more useful because you’ll know who you’re looking for.

Where does Success Champion Networking fit?

I built Success Champion Networking because I couldn’t find this kind of room. We run virtual, business-to-business networking chapters for people who sell to other businesses.

Here’s how it’s set up:

• Every chapter meets weekly over Zoom.
• One business per industry category per chapter.
• No MLMs, under any circumstances.
• The first visit is free, and it’s required before you apply.
• Both you and the chapter have to agree it’s a fit.

SCN has 450+ vetted members across 9 countries. Members range in size, but the common denominator is they can’t sell each other. That’s the point. We help people network through their network, not to their network.

No pointless coffee meetings. No business card bingo. Just strategic introductions with people who actually open doors.

Find the room that fits

Don’t join a group because it’s close or because a friend asked. Use the checklist. Visit first. Watch what people ask for.

If you sell to other businesses and you want a room where nobody is trying to sell you, browse the chapters in the directory, pick a meeting that fits your schedule and your industry, and come sit in on one.

Questions people ask

Can I visit an SCN chapter before I join?

Yes. The first visit is free, and it is required before you can apply. You sit in on a real weekly meeting over Zoom, see how the room works, and decide if it fits. The chapter decides too. Both sides have to agree it is a fit before anyone becomes a member.

Is Success Champion Networking only for B2B businesses?

Yes. SCN is a virtual-first, business-to-business networking organization. The chapters are built for people who sell to other businesses, so the room is full of potential referral partners, not buyers. If you sell to consumers, a different kind of group will probably serve you better, and I would rather tell you that up front.

Can two people from the same industry be in one SCN chapter?

No. Each chapter holds one business per industry category. That rule keeps two members from competing for the same introductions, and it means every person in the room covers a different part of the market. If your category is taken in one chapter, you can look for an open seat in another.

What should I do if my current group has turned into a sales pitch?

Stop asking that room for clients and start asking for introductions to the people who already serve your clients. If the members still only pitch each other after you have given it a fair shot, the problem is the room, not you. Go find one built for business-to-business relationships.

What is the difference between a referral partner and a client?

A client buys from you. A referral partner sells to your ideal clients but does not compete with what you sell. The partner is the one who can open doors for you again and again, which is why I tell people to stop networking for referrals and go find referral partners.